Oct 28

How to stop fear from holding you back: Unpacking Fear to Free Your Mind

So often fear holds us back from achieving.

The big dream: how fear can hold you back

Some years ago I had an 'a-ha' experience which led to a real free your mind moment for me, so I want to share in the hopes it will help you free your mind this Friday.

All though high school, I'd known I would travel in my 20's – it's a part of the kiwi mindset and I didn't want to miss out. Typically, one gets a 2 year working visa for the UK and uses the time to work and travel as much as possible! Being so far away from Europe here in NZ, its the done thing.

However all through my early 20's I found lots of other great things to do and never made it overseas… I just couldn't make it happen. I wanted to go, I knew I wouldn't settle till I had traveled, but here I was still in New Zealand. I finally stopped to think about it and realised that I had fears that were holding me back. Up until that point they was subconscious and nameless, but very real!

Unpacking fear

I decided to examine this fear, to unpack it, look it in the face and then try to overcome it. Upon reflection, I recognised that my fears were many: that I couldn't do it, I wouldn't find a job, I wouldn't enjoy traveling, I wouldn't make friends, and that I'd end up with no money, no ability to travel and even no money to get back home to NZ…. let me tell you there was all kinds of self-talk going on!!!

Deep down at the heart of it all was the fear of ending up with no money and “failing”.

Sounds pretty bad, after all no one wants to end up poor and a failure…. but then I stopped to think – would this really happen? Would I actually let myself get to the point where I had absolutely NO money, was job-less and sleeping on the street? No way! And I also have very supportive friends and family who, if things got really really bad, would help me out…. so no more excuses!

The key for me in moving forward and freeing my mind was in getting to grips with the underlying fear that was holding me back and realising it likely wouldn't become a reality.

Free your mind so you can achieve

Think now of something business or personal that you really want to achieve, but you can't seem to make it happen, I invite you to ask yourself:

  • what is it that I am most hoping for?

  • What are the positives that would occur when this happens?

  • What are all the fears that spring to mind with respect to this?

  • What is the absolute worst that could happen?

  • If those fears were to come true, then what would happen? And what would that mean?

  • Could you change your perspective on this?

  • How likely is your fear to come true?

  • What could you put in place to prevent this from happening?

  • Is the chance that your fears might come true enough to stop you from trying?


A wee note: fear does have it's place

It is important to acknowledge that fear does have it's place. Fear can keep us safe and helps us to make sound judgments some of the time. But when fear remains subconscious and un-examined, it can hold you back from truly reaching your potential, challenging yourself and from fulfilling your dreams. It's up to you to analyze your fears and to determine if you choose to let those fears hold you back and keep you safe, hold you back and limit your outcomes, or if you want to

Will you continue to let fear hold you back?

Ultimately, an un-explored fear can hold you back a huge amount, but if you really stop to unpack that fear and really understand what might happen it can free you to take a giant leap forward – so get to it!

(Visited 145 times, 1 visits today)
  • Love this post! Fear is such an important aspect of our humanity to examine. I really appreciate that you focus on looking at the fear, as opposed to the all too common “push it away and shove it in its crate” approach. I believe we need to love all aspects of ourselves, not just the strong, courageous, generous, successful ones.

    • Thanks for your commets Julia! Great to hear your perspective and yes – so important not to just ignore emotions that pop up for us, they are there for a reason!

    • Thanks for your commets Julia! Great to hear your perspective and yes – so important not to just ignore emotions that pop up for us, they are there for a reason!

Page optimized by WP Minify WordPress Plugin